Mellen (absentmammoth) wrote,
Mellen
absentmammoth

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Back issues...

Tonight, I read my diary from the last several years back up until the present day.

I laughed at things I thought. I laughed at what other people did. I smiled at pleasant memories.

I cried more though. I cried about the mistakes I made. I cried about the mistakes other people made. I cried at friendships and loves lost. I even cried at some of the happier parts, remembering how happy I was, but overall, I find I wrote more when I was sad then when I was happy. It's nice to see that isn't always the case with this journal, but still.

"The good old days weren't always so good, and tomorrow's not as bad as it seems" - Billy Joel

Seems that way tonight. Still, it's a kind of rejuvenating, cathartic experience.

I'm happy where I am, and I would not change things...still, I'm a person in whom old feelings don't die easily. I guess that's why reading my diary over has made me so emotional.

I have issues to deal with today, and I have to keep dealing with them, for example, what the hell I'm doing today ^_^ Still, I need to do this kind of remembering now and then. I have no desire to live in the past. I just don't want to forget what makes me live the way I do today.
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