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12 March 2004 @ 03:48 am
Coming and Going on Easy Terms...  
So, my sister is home for spring break, and my mom made a big turkey dinner and we all had food together and that was kinda nice.

For dessert, our parents told us they were getting divorced. I'd only been expecting ice cream.

Neither my sister and I had any idea it was that bad. The odd complaint from my mom once in a while, but nothing serious, really. I figured, at least, that they'd tell us if they were thinking about it. But it's all planned and arranged, and my mom is filing probably in June, she said. Dad's keeping the house, school will still be paid for, etc, etc. And my mom says "It'd be easier if you guys said something." Kind of difficult when they'd been hiding this from us so completely. But we're "grown now" or something, so that it's not expected to ruin us, I suppose.

Of course, there is a part of me that's really upset. After nearly 22 years of living with my parents as they were, I find out things aren't the way I thought. And now, all interaction with them will have to change, even if it's sometimes small. It's like a surreal joke. I just wanted ice cream.

The other part...it's the last part of a changed life. I'm a completely different person than I was (exactly 2.5 years ago--my parents announce their divorce on my own anniversary), and my life is changing...that family unit was one of the last strings tying me to what I was. While the family members are still there, the connections aren't the same. They're going to be freer in a sense. Bonds adapting to what I will, not what I was. And that will make it easier to leave as well, which I know I'll have to be doing sometime soon.

It's been an emotional day. I've had good people to help me though, and I thank you, know-who-you-ares.
Mood: upset and dealing
Music: Beck - Little One
[PING!] :: You exist.dresen on March 12th, 2004 04:25 am (UTC)
My parents divorced when I was relatively small and things were changing anyway (moving from Germany to England) so it passed as more or less 'one of those things'. It must be harsh for it to happen when you're old enough to really understand the issues, especially if they were hidden from you.. here's hoping it only helps you grow.
Mellenabsentmammoth on March 12th, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)
Yeah...I'd think unless it was a "messy" divorce that having it happen earlier might be easier. I'm just kinda at a loss right now.
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Mellenabsentmammoth on March 12th, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)
neural network: A: chaosashliana on March 12th, 2004 05:30 am (UTC)
sounds hard... but you're dealing very well. good way to look at things. i look forward to seeing you totally break free.

it's really really disconcerting for me, though, that they could hide their problems so well. wow. see, my family is *very* vocal and i know when there are problems (when i'm home) because i hear it/see it/etc.

Mellen: Nani?absentmammoth on March 12th, 2004 08:48 am (UTC)
Normally my mom is very vocal too, but not a word. My dad's never been much of a talker, so it's understandable, but my mom...it's pretty befuddling even to me.

I haven't heard/seen them fight since I was in high school, and then it was a thing that was maybe a week long.

I just don't get it.
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Mellen: Demo...absentmammoth on March 12th, 2004 08:50 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's weird how I know it's gonna change. There's no more mom and dad. Now it's mom. And dad.

And that's gonna be tough.
Gemma fucking Tellerayanamisama on March 12th, 2004 10:37 am (UTC)
My parents finalized their divorce last month. I had no idea it was coming either.

Sorry, Mary-Ellen.
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Gemma fucking Tellerayanamisama on March 12th, 2004 06:13 pm (UTC)
Oops. Sorry.
Mellenabsentmammoth on March 12th, 2004 10:45 am (UTC)
Thanks, you too.
Azure Jane Lunaticazurelunatic on March 12th, 2004 11:42 am (UTC)
Yeah, some warning would have been really nice.
Mellenabsentmammoth on March 12th, 2004 05:46 pm (UTC)
Even by comparison.
just johnjustjohn on March 12th, 2004 06:59 pm (UTC)

... and she had to cook a big dinner while preparing for making the announcement? This sounds more like going-out-to-a-restaurant subject matter.