Mellen (absentmammoth) wrote,

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My September Eleventh Story...

The desire to share with all of you the thoughts I never shared about a date that became cliche struck me recently. I think I just needed to wait until, well, it just didn't smack you in the face every fifteen seconds. September eleventh two thousand one was a day of great hope for me. For several reasons.

Most of you know that it's the day Brandon and I got together. What other day could be better for something so life-altering? A novelty wave struck with a powerful force, and it pushed the greatest love of my life and myself together. The day was charged with both tragic and joyous energies. I knew we were not making a mistake.

But I also had another kind of hope. A hope of American realization. Not a uniting of people, though had that even been sustained it would have been better than what we have now. I had the hope that this nation would finally realized what an asshole the rest of the world saw it as. I hoped it would be leveled to its knees and stay there. To understand it did not own the world, and that the world did not want to be owned by it. I hoped for a humbled, but therefore bettered nation. It was the idea that yes, something IMPORTANT has finally happened, and we will understand. The blow that strikes every super-empire may at last have deflated our ego.

That hope did not come to pass. If anything, the exact opposite came true. America decided it was twice as powerful as it was before, and would wield its unseemly power in any way it saw fit. My chance to be looked at by the world and be an American with dignity was gone. The world hates us more than ever, and I must hang my head in shame should I venture out into their lands.

Still, now I have at least the hope it will burn out. Once we've gotten to a point of power too great to sustain, the star will run out of fuel and die. It really can't keep itself running much longer. I'm just waiting for it to happen now. I do not hate America, but I hate the path it is on. So, I'm looking forward to the next calamity we may face, still hoping.

  • (no subject)

    so the basics since i last said anything to anyone via the internet are: 1. staying in japan for a third year. this was a tough decision, but the…

  • (no subject)

    i'm not dead, just boring.

  • (no subject)

    also, is this really a new Bonnie "Prince" Billy album, or just some random songs thrown together for a kind of EP? Because it's kind…

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