It's not the speaking I enjoy...it's the decoding. Not the translation. That's different. It's the brain choices, the patterns of use that come about because of the way in which they are deduced. Wow. That's why I do get so excited when I understand a Kanji pattern in a new way or translate something I've come across.
I'd once thought learning Japanese was just a hobby. I'd never excel at it, but I liked knowing some of it. Now I realize it's a different kind of means to an end. I didn't take Japanese to understand Japanese, but to better understand the Japanese.
You got me, boy. Thanks.