September 6th, 2007

gb shaw

(no subject)

last night i had a wonderful dream. nothing about it was particularly remarkable, in actuality, but having it definitely affected me in a way i can't really pinpoint. but i feel overall much better than i did upon going to sleep.

i was feeling really down yesterday. after work, i slept almost the rest of the day, waking up for a few hours, during which mostly i read (Kafka on the Shore, which i have been intensely enjoying...while unconnected to my own dream, it wouldn't surprise me if the Murakami is having some effect).

in the dream, i went back to school. i met new people who were really people i already know altered to fit a new reality. i often dream of people in this way--a person i know, disguised by a difference of appearance and place. it happens to myself too, though in this dream i was definitely the current "me" i have come to accept as myself. i talked about memories that i really have with these people, and the real people they reminded me of. i vividly remember being carried on a friend's back through a field with a cemetary on the left-hand side, in order to find out where he hid his photography equipment. i wanted to hold his hand but i couldn't. so i just enjoyed being carried along. it turned out he'd placed his camera in some old stone steps. other little details like this filled up this world with a warm feeling of familiarity.

i woke up today feeling much better. a feeling of eloquence that was lacking has returned to my everyday activities. i'm again able to feel the flow in the movements of my body and how it intereacts with the world around it. i feel like i'm better prepared to handle myself, and the depression i was feeling has definitely abated.

why would this dream do this? i have no idea. but i like it, and i'm going to try and remember what it is that i feel now. strange how the subconcious works.