October 20th, 2004

i'm good!

(no subject)

my dad must be lonely. he called me up to see if i wanted to go out with him for dinner. since i'm at work i can't, but we made plans to go out tomorrow instead. that's the major thing that makes my parents' divorce upsetting to me. my mom isn't lonely, she's got her new apartment and life all set up, but my dad doesn't really have anything to do in house all by himself. it's just him and the cats. it'd be easier if my sister was closer to home, she and my dad get along much better than he and i do. but i'm the only one around, and so it kind of falls on me to fill in the gaps now and then.

i feel so bad for my dad. these must be really tough times for him. not that he ever talks about his feelings with me (or anyone) but it's just a list of hardships lately. he's getting a divorce i don't think he wanted, his parents (who they haven't told about the divorce) are rapidly approaching death, his brother has severe cancers all over, and my father himself was just recently diagnosed with prostate cancer (caught very early, thankfully, and it shouldn't take any years off his life, but still).

he and my mom still see each other fairly often and act friendly, but it's not exactly the same, clearly. she'll be coming to take care of him after his treatment for the cancer starts so that's good. when she's not around, i'm the closest one, but my life is so crazy these days too that i don't even go home that much. my dad and i have never been very close...he doesn't like to talk much and i'm kind of confusing. he respects me for being smart and doing well in school, but he doesn't care for any of my interests and looks down on me sometimes as lazy and messy.

so, tomorrow we're having dinner. should be...i don't know. it'll just be something i'll do.
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