March 12th, 2004

i'm good!

Coming and Going on Easy Terms...

So, my sister is home for spring break, and my mom made a big turkey dinner and we all had food together and that was kinda nice.

For dessert, our parents told us they were getting divorced. I'd only been expecting ice cream.

Neither my sister and I had any idea it was that bad. The odd complaint from my mom once in a while, but nothing serious, really. I figured, at least, that they'd tell us if they were thinking about it. But it's all planned and arranged, and my mom is filing probably in June, she said. Dad's keeping the house, school will still be paid for, etc, etc. And my mom says "It'd be easier if you guys said something." Kind of difficult when they'd been hiding this from us so completely. But we're "grown now" or something, so that it's not expected to ruin us, I suppose.

Of course, there is a part of me that's really upset. After nearly 22 years of living with my parents as they were, I find out things aren't the way I thought. And now, all interaction with them will have to change, even if it's sometimes small. It's like a surreal joke. I just wanted ice cream.

The other's the last part of a changed life. I'm a completely different person than I was (exactly 2.5 years ago--my parents announce their divorce on my own anniversary), and my life is changing...that family unit was one of the last strings tying me to what I was. While the family members are still there, the connections aren't the same. They're going to be freer in a sense. Bonds adapting to what I will, not what I was. And that will make it easier to leave as well, which I know I'll have to be doing sometime soon.

It's been an emotional day. I've had good people to help me though, and I thank you, know-who-you-ares.
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    Beck - Little One
i'm good!

And now

Also, it is now spring break, and at a time when I'd really rather be alone for a while, I have to move back home for two weeks (that's right, Conn College has a 2 week spring break...never thought I'd be upset about THAT). All dormitories are closed for the break, except students who applied for specialty housing over the break. Had I known sooner, I would have applied, but now it's too late.

Shittiest. Time. Ever.
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