It's one of those days where you just wish that when you sit down at the computer or on your bed or whatever that some kind of monster would pop up and eat you, so as to keep you from feeling so apprehensive about any remaining days your life might have had.
A day I simply wish not to be...to enjoy the fullness of emptiness...but it's not really an option, I suppose.
I'm sure I'll feel better AFTER work, hehe.
Today is a day of general unwellbeing. Let's say my level of badness usually starts at 10 (out of 100, let's say). Most of the time, it goes up and down a little, but stays primarily out of the way. I woke up this morning at around a 25 badness.
To the restless anxiety of my previous post (25), add the following:
(+7) I'm very very tired. I only got to sleep at around 3-4 o'clock, and woke up early (9:30), unable to get back to sleep.
(+2) I had to come in to work an hour early and wander the mall because I had no other means of transportation, both of my parents needing their vehicles for either work or dental appointments (before which I was dropped off).
(+2) I'm working an entirely pointless shift of 4-8pm, while other people are here, so I'm not really needed. It just irritates me.
(+10) My allergies must be acting up, because my eyes feel swollen (and look swollen Must mean they ARE swollen, silly head!), my nose is alternately runny and stuffy, and my eczema is acting up, making me ichy all over. I've also got the remnants of cramps and headaches from menstrating. I look and feel crappy.
(+1) For some reason, nothing I put on seems to be comforatble today. I'm just generally ill fitting in my body.
(+3) I have no appetite. Lack of eating, however, makes me dizzy. I feel crummy either way.
(+3) All of this makes me bitchy. I hate it when I'm bitchy.
That puts me at a 53 badness level so far today. Way more than ususal. The only subtractions from this have been pretty meager. I showed my sister Jerry Maguire and she liked it (-4) and it was cool when I sneezed into the sun and made a rainbow (-1).
Oh well, there's always tonight, I hope...