June 19th, 2002

i'm good!

A doctor's note...

To whom it may concern,

I recently examined a patient by the name of Miss Kennedy. Miss Kennedy was exhibiting some strange symptoms when she came to visit me. Every time she tried to talk about government policy, she began to vomit. When I tried to speak with her about the rights of the individual under the constitution, she said she felt as if there was a great weight pressing on her, and shortly afterward, she would faint.

This differs from most of my other patients, who since Sept. 11th, have come in to see me about vocal difficulties (all they seem to be able to say usually is 'baaaah', very similar to sheep, oddly enough).

My diagnosis is rather severe. It seems Miss Kennedy may have a chronic case of objectivitiy to the American government. While this is not a common disease, this is not the only case I've seen recently.

I would request, therefore, that Miss Kennedy be exempted from any new laws the Bush administration would like to make constricting her personal freedoms. If this is not done, I'm afraid the only solution will be for her to leave the country. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Doctor Sam Wright