December 13th, 2000

i'm good!

At least they have a decent connection...

Writing entries at WHS is a little bit disheartening. It's not my computer, and I don't have my music, any food, etc. Still, it's better than sitting in study hall with a bunch of obnoxious freshmen who think throwing paper footballs at you is the pinacle of hilarity.

I really hate being one of the only people I know left in high school. I've always been friends with older people, and now, I'm left with only a few really true friends I can see on a regular basis. Sure, I can talk to them on the computer, but it's no substitute for actually speaking or visiting with them. You can't truly "hang out" with them. It's just not...real, I suppose. Still, I think I became glued to the computer because it's the only way I can really still talk with them, find out how they are, and in general "spend time" with them. High school is just the place I go during the day so that I can get good enough grades to get into college. It isn't a community of people I care about, or even an environment where I truly learn anything.

I can't wait to go to college. It's the opportunity to get away from the confinement of my home, learn things I actually CARE about, and make new friends. No one reminisces about the wonderful times they have in high school. High school is not a fun place to be, by any means. It feels like a prison that all my friends escaped from, and I alone was left in.

Maybe I'll miss this when it's over. Maybe I'll miss waking up at 6:00am, maybe I'll miss riding the bus, maybe I'll miss the classes I couldn't care less about, maybe I'll miss the people who irritate me, maybe I'll miss the hours of pure misery I put in each week. However, I highly doubt it.
  • Current Music
    Cowboy Bebop - The Real Folk Blues (It's in my head, anyway)
i'm good!

Hyde and Seek

I just awoke from a dream that was both rather amusing and embarassing. In it, a bunch of my Japanese friends had come over to America to watch the making of a L'Arc~en~Ciel video (most of their music videos are made in America, so, this is only a little far fetched). For some reason, one of the scenes would be shot in what I think must be a combination of my elementary school and the grounds surrounding my church. Anyway, I was just waiting around, talking with my friends Kikuko and Ayako, but incredibly excited that L'Arc was going to be there. They were going to shoot a video of their song that appeared in "Edward Scissorhands" (okay, they DIDN'T appear in that film at all, but I think I must have associated it in my head that way because Hyde, the lead singer, looks surprisingly like Johnny Depp). I was particularly eager to see Hyde. He's, as I stated, a little like a Japanese version of Johnny Depp, and has a very cool voice. I had practiced what I was going to say if I got a chance to meet him. (This was really exciting--right after Koyasu Takehito, Hyde is the Japanese man I'd most like to get my hands on, heh). So, here I am, waiting for him, when a man in a rather nice black suit and dark glasses, just a little taller than me, comes out of the building into the feild near where shooting is about to begin. I talk to him for a second, and he asks if I am there to watch the video being made. I say yes, and I especially can't wait to see Hyde. The man then tells me that HE is actually Hyde, taking off the glasses to prove it. Instead of going into the little routine I'd practiced, I simply jumped on him. He caught me okay, so he didn't fall down, and he started to walk over to the set, with me just sorta wrapped around the poor guy. I just kept mummbling "Hyde wo aishiteru" (I love you, Hyde) and "Atashi no Hyde" (My Hyde). When we got to the set, everyone just kinda stared. The lead guitarist, Ken, finally asked me, very politely, to remove myself from their lead singer. After I had done so, the full realization of what I had done hit me. Embarassed beyond belief, I ran into the bathroom, sat on the ledge of the frosted glass windows, and cried, missing the entire music video filming.
Pat Bradlely later told me that it was very cool, and for some reason, Patrick Murphy had asked the people at Penny Arcade to make me a comic to cheer me up, which they did. I thought that was a very nice gesture on their part. Then, I woke up.

I'm not sure what the hell that is supposed to mean. Any clue?
  • Current Music
    L'Arc~en~Ciel - NEO UNIVERSE