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12 February 2001 @ 04:06 am
I seem to be full of it. I've done some stupid things, that have hurt both me and other people. I'm writing this to myself mainly as a reminder. Look before you leap, Mary Ellen. Think before you act. Balance in all things. You know what mistakes you have made. Don't just try to repair them afterward, try not to make them to begin with. You can't make time flow backward, and people won't accept sorries forever.

I'm sorry I'm not a good person. I often find that when I look into myself. I'm working at trying to contain the selfishness, the thoughtlessness, the lack of understanding. My friends who read this, kick me in the head when I do stupid things, okay. You have before...help me try and not do them again if you can. Thanks.
Mood: sadsad
Kaysylverice2 on February 12th, 2001 06:51 am (UTC)
Mary Ellen, you're not a bad person. But you're right - people won't accept sorries forever. You may feel like you're constantly fighting a losing battle, and you're right. Life is a constantly losing battle. But there are so many more rewards. Have any of your true, close, real friends left yet? Have any of us stopped accepting you? We all have faults. Not a single person on earth is allowed to blame another for something that they cannot help. Mistakes will always be made, and, while it is better not to make them in the first place, no one can keep from doing that all the time. Accept that it's hard, and that you're not perfect, and you're not always going to be able to be SuperGirl and do everything, and it's easier to accept things when you screw up. Don't worry too hard about it, and don't ever take it to heart too much. Because if someone cares about you, it won't matter in the end.

If you ever feel like talking in person, ring my cell, and I'll call back. I don't even need to pick up or anything...caller ID is a wonderful thing. I'm always here for you, little sister, even if it kills me that I can't always be here in person for you.

(Anonymous) on February 27th, 2001 05:29 pm (UTC)
Reading this really pissed me off. Maybe we'll talk about it sometime, but most likely not. Your email server seems to neglect mail from people whose addresses begin with S and end with wingGrr. Later (though probably not).
(Anonymous) on March 28th, 2001 10:00 am (UTC)
Re: *sigh*
You can be such a goofy bastard, sometimes. Why don't you just get on with it like everyone else? Just forget high school ever happened. It apparently disturbs you even now, so just don't think about it until the very memory is as foggy as a half-remembered dream.