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09 January 2003 @ 01:53 pm
Same great country, half the calories...  
So, as the vacation winds down, I got to thinking. My last semester before I'd be going to Japan IF I got accepted to the Associated Kyoto Program (and I personally feel it's definately an iffy thing). I'd be gone for a year. Well, late August til May. A long time, regardless.

And I've talked to the one kid I know in the program. He's had good times, but some pretty sucky ones as well. Overall, he hasn't turned me on to the experience.

The thought of missing my sister go to college, my second anniversary, all my friends' birthdays, Christmas, and little communication with my friends due to the time difference for a whole YEAR, well, it makes me very very unhappy.

Kobayashi-sensei recommended this program, but I'm the one who'd have to live it. I just...well, I don't want to do it alone. Not for that much time. Less stress is always good, and I think a whole year would only stress me out more. Originally, I wanted to do a year...but my life is moving in different directions all the time, and to ignore that change and stick with an outdated course will only bring me trouble, I feel.

So, after having it weigh on my significantly over the past few days, I've decided to change my mind. A spring semester (still a good amount of time, just not QUITE as long) or maybe a summer program is more suited to me. If I go in the spring, I feel I'd miss a lot less, and still have another semester with Kobayashi-sensei to build my skills up. I looked at the deadlines for other programs, and I still have plenty of time to apply, scholarships included.

Change is good. Just sometimes, it needs to be done one step at a time.
 
 
Mood: somewhat better
Music: David Bowie - Changes
 
 
 
Commodore Lunchmeatsninjer on January 9th, 2003 11:11 am (UTC)
Woah, but your sensei has a name right out of The Usual Suspects.

I know I'm probably the eightieth person to say that, but hey, I just saw the movie this past month, so give me a break.

Mellen: Mischevious Fayeabsentmammoth on January 9th, 2003 11:24 am (UTC)
That's cool, man. It's been a long time since I heard it, anyways.

You know, the first time I saw that movie, I knew something was up when the lawyer named Kobayashi appeared and he WASN'T Japanese...that was enough to get my nose smelling foul play!
ex_randalgra425 on January 10th, 2003 01:19 pm (UTC)

dammit mary ellen, why are you always so smart and levelheaded!? hehe... but yeah, i think it's great that you've thought it all out and are going for what'll make you the happiest. that's what's important.
Mellenabsentmammoth on January 11th, 2003 09:38 pm (UTC)
Smart and levelheaded are rarely words I'd use, or hear used, to describe me, hehe. Thanks for your never-ending support, even when those adjectives DON'T apply.
Mandafee_b on January 12th, 2003 07:52 pm (UTC)
I think you have made a good decision. Not that my opinion really matters....and I don't mean that in a bad way. =)

I'm glad you feel better. *sends love, Japanese style (hitae!!!)*