Mellen (absentmammoth) wrote,
Mellen
absentmammoth

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Coping...

I bought a shirt early this past December . It's a shiny black top, and I think it really flatters my figure. The only time I've worn it was when I tried it on in the store. I bought it because I knew that there was a man who would like it on me. I bought it for myself to wear for him.

Since I bought it, things have changed. I never got a chance to see him and wear the shirt. There was never a right time to wear it. And now, I don't know if I can. I look at the shirt, laying on the chair in my room, waiting for me to wear it. I'm not sure I ever will. It would be like wearing the ring of your recently deceased grandmother...it's nice, and it looks beautiful, but there is too much sadness behind it.

There will be other shirts for other people in the future, no doubt. Still, I can't yet bring myself to treat this one like just another shirt, despite the fact I've wanted to. Onward with life, I suppose...but for now, the top will wait...
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