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05 July 2002 @ 01:48 am
Warning: The following post contains mushy, sentimental material that some may find offensive. Viewer discrestion is advised.  
I'm a prose writer, by nature. For me to write poetry is an incredible struggle. What's even worse is that the subject I would like to write poetry about has been done before, and a thousand times better than I could ever write it. Love poems are as cliche as surprise twist endings are these days. At the same time, I feel like it's almost a shame I should be endowed with such a tremendously beautiful love and not have the ability to express it to others as poetically as I feel it.

The feelings this boy creates in me, the feelings that he has for me, are as difficult to accurately describe as they are easy to recognize. It's like I've been given buckets of paint in more shades than any person has ever seen, but I can't paint to save my life. I've been been given enough material for a thousand poems every time he holds me or looks into my eyes, but I can't find the words to write a single poem.

Why do I want to write it though? Because "poetry isn't poetry. I mean it doesn't lie" (Iluminatus Trilogy, p.384). Read the rest of that passage someday, and you might get an idea of what it is that I mean. I have to resort to other peoples' words to even convey describing what it is I want to describe. I'm at that kind of a loss for words.

For now, it seems, I have to let it suffice to say that I love him, more than my words can ever say. And I can never express how grateful I am for that either.
Mood: aishiteru...
Music: Akino Arai - Tsuki no Ie
S0n of N00n: surprisedbibble on July 4th, 2002 11:15 pm (UTC)
i love you.
Mellen: Loved Fayeabsentmammoth on July 4th, 2002 11:17 pm (UTC)

Sometimes, it's just too wonderful to hold it back.

Second Best Coffee in Towndaoistraver on July 10th, 2002 07:56 pm (UTC)
"aishiteru" r0x!
wow I admire you both so much for being able to cultivate this state in the kind of society we live in nowadays.
neural network: A: thoth towerashliana on July 5th, 2002 06:29 am (UTC)
i know partly how you feel...

i am naturally a poetry writer, though i try to stay away fromthe cliche and just write what flows out in the moment....

but anyway... i have that same overwhelming love feeling as well an di so want to let it out in poetry and show it to the world and have something to look back at years later.... but i haven't been able to write a poem since new years..... and i wish i could, because there's so much material, as you say....so much beauty and intensity and connection and love and "ashiteru" that i feel imust...but i can't....

it's okay to be mushy sometimes, especially when it's genuine and not puppy mushy love.
Mandafee_b on July 5th, 2002 11:40 am (UTC)

the purple turtle queen: happysurreal_rebirth on July 11th, 2002 06:20 pm (UTC)
hey...it's me, the long-lost jessi. i decided to attempt to catch up with some lost friends and stumbled upon your journal for the first time in...eons. this entry managed the convey the same feelings i've had for the past eight months. leave it to you to be able to put into words the thoughts that have been running through my mind about my own soulmate for so long. do you mind if i add you as a friend again?